Triple Chocolate Chunk Cookies

When I was at Oberlin, there was this “company” which provided a saintly service: Cookies On Call. Actually it was just this one woman working out of her home, but she was literally responsible for the weight gain of hundreds of college students circa 2004. Saturday night would roll around, and after the one and only bar (hell yeah, Feve!) would close, we’d all stumble to my house and lay about like a pride of drunk lions, watching Cocteau films and talking about how post modern everything was. Somewhere around 3am, someone would say “heyyyyyeee….. we *urp* need COOOOOOKIEEES.”

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The Best Red Velvet Cake of All Time, The Universe, and Any Subsequent Universes or Dimensions

This red velvet cake is really wonderful. I worked on tweaking the recipe for a long time, and I finally believe it is unsurpassable. People do nothing but rave about this cake, and there are NEVER leftovers. You’re gonna love it! Ok, ok. You’re wondering why the cake in this photo (my wedding cake!!!) is not exactly “red.” This, my dears, is absolutely on purpose. Red velvet cake was not always bright red. In fact, I am going to tell y’all the story of “Little Red Velvet Cake…Hood”:

And so we begin again…FINALLY!

With my baby on my wedding day.

My beloveds, it has been months since I last wrote, and I hope you all can accept my sincerest apologies. So very much has happened, I don’t even know where to begin!

Well, here goes:

Mocha Mayhem Cupcakes

My gorgeous friend Jennifer came over today, so I absolutely had to make her cupcakes. I mean, what sort of a friend would I be not to? So, caution to the wind, and diet aside, I whipped up a batch of the most moist, decadent, and divine cupcakes you could imagine. 

Milk and Honey Bread

Being on a diet is hard. Obvious reasons aside, it is hard because I need to cook. It is my creative outlet, and I feel hollow when I don’t do it for a while. Four days is a while, I guess. But I figured, why should Mr. S have to suffer because I am on a cleanse? So I baked this gorgeous fluffy bread. 

My Dog Looks Like a Seal, Right?

Maggie the Morkie

Unknown Seal © Stanislav Dubin

Right???? By the way, a word on photos.

Rustic Whole Wheat Bread

©Wikimedia Commons

Have y’all heard of Food Not Bombs? It’s a great worldwide charity that does food drives for the hungry. When I was in high school, I used to bake this bread for Food Not Bombs every Sunday, and my friends would make soup or whatever, and we’d all hang out in the park and feed people. 

Baked Sweet Potato “Fries” with Thai Chili Sauce

Last night I made sweet potato “fries” because honestly, I had to eat everything before my cleanse so I wouldn’t be tempted. And they are also yummy, so you should make them too! 

Mr. S’s Baked Feta

I miss summer. More specifically, I miss the feeling of sea-salt scrubbing my mildly sunburned skin, sitting in the shade of olive-trees, squinting my eyes against the glare of the sun on water so clear I can see fish swimming 5 meters deep, the air full with the scent of rosemary and the sound of cicadas.

French Silk Pie

When I was a very little girl, we would go to this LA chain restaurant called Baker’s Square every week. I would have a grilled cheese sandwich, milk, and a huge slice of French silk pie. Lots of places sell French silk pie, but nothing comes close to Baker’s Square, their food is crap, but the pies are fabulous. The slices were so huge, my mother once asked the waiter to bring me only half a slice, and wrap the other up for later. I was furious, and shrieked “Where’s my PIE?!” until the waiter sheepishly brought out the rest of it. Thus, at the tender age of five, it became clear that pie and I were to be lifelong friends. 

Dutch Baby with Champagne Cream Sauce

My mother has been making dutch babies for as long as I can remember. Not that kind of baby, silly, you have such a dirty mind. Just kidding…

Anyway, a dutch baby is what happens when you decide to cross-breed a popover and a pancake. I decided to make one for dinner tonight, because we all know that breakfast in the middle of the night is awesome.

Caramelized Coffee Cake with Magical Mystical Maple Frosting

I decided to make this cake up today on a whim, and it turned out deliciously! Mr. S seems particularly pleased, which is huge, because he isn’t a dessert person. He has always been especially fond of my magical mystical maple frosting, which I usually put on my old fashioned doughnuts. And what do we have with doughnuts? Why coffee, of course! So this is my riff on coffee and donuts. Enjoy! 

Mr. S’s Veggie Hawaii Toast

There is nothing Hawaiian about Hawaii Toast. The sandwich was invented by German TV chef Clemens Wilmenrod in the 1950s, and has caused considerable confusion ever since. A German friend once told me that while vacationing on Maui he asked for Hawaii Toast in the hotel restaurant, only to be met with a stony and uncomprehending stare. Nevertheless, this little retro dish is a cultural gem, and it’s great for when you can’t decide if you want something sweet or savory, or when you simply don’t feel like cooking something difficult. Hawaii Toast is normally made with ham, but Mr. S makes it veggie style. You will find this little sandwich delightfully easy to assemble, and refreshingly delicious! 

Gooey Lemon Chess Pie

I tasted my first Chess pie in St. Louis during a production of Das Rheingold. I was staying with this 96 year old retired professor of literature, and she made this pie for me. I had never heard of it, and when she told me it had cornmeal and vinegar in it, I must admit I was highly skeptical, to say the least. When the first bite touched my lips, I died. I was floating, far above the city of St. Louis, on an entirely different plane of existence. I hadn’t realized something could ever be so perfect. She had to hide the pie to stop me from consuming it whole. I repaid her by teaching her how to watch DVDs on her computer, which she found upsetting and difficult. I think we know who got the better end of the deal. 

Megan’s Perfect Pie Crust

When I first moved to Germany a few years back, it took a while to realize the absence of pie. Pie isn’t a thing here. There are the occasional bakeries that profess to sell pies, but any pie-lover can tell you these are not, in fact, pies (much like the “Mexican” food). After a terrible experiment with puff pastry, and my darling German friend bringing me a pre-made “pie crust” from a special “pie shop,” it became clear that if I wanted pie, I was going to have to make it myself. This pie crust recipe is the fruition of two years’ labor in the kitchen, and it is truly divine! 

Easiest Nachos and Guacamole Ever (and wedding dress shopping)

After a long day of shopping and being rained upon, we finally found my elopement dress! I have to tell you this story, there is no way around it, but if you really just want the recipe, it is at the bottom. Otherwise, bear with me. Dress shopping was a nightmare from the beginning, so words cannot describe how relieved I am to have finally found what I wanted all along. As you may have all figured, I am not a conventional lady, and I wanted my civil ceremony dress to be Gothic Lolita. In Germany, it is customary to have two weddings-

Chickenless Noodle Soup for the Soul

Everyone knows that chicken noodle soup can help banish a cold. But we vegetarians and vegans cannot eat chicken, so we need something to soothe our aching heads and bones when we are ill. My dear friend told me her husband has pneumonia this week, so I thought I would post this recipe for her. 

Kashmir Fusion with Easy Mango Lassi

If I had to choose a favorite savory cuisine, I would probably choose Indian. Indian food at its best is aromatic, incredibly complex, and viscerally satisfying. India is an enormous country, as you know, so the cuisine varies greatly, and there are so many wonderful options for vegetarians and vegans. Although I have no experience at all cooking authentic Indian food, I have been eating authentic Indian food my entire life. I even dated the host of an Indian restaurant many years ago. Gastronomically speaking, this was a wonderful time. 

Delicious Breaded Gouda

There are times, when there is none of it left. Time, that is. In this paradox state, when everything has to happen at once, cooking takes a place on the back burner, so to say. Tomorrow is an audition, and between packing, practicing, getting distracted by kittens and puppies, my love needed me not only to make dinner, but also to brag about it on her blog.
And that, dear reader, marks my appearance as co-author on Devil’s Food. As you might have guessed, I’m “Mr. S”. And I did not say this. 

Death by Chocolate Cookies

Sometimes we all need a spoonful of sugar. On days when we are feeling blue, we need not only a distraction, but a creative outlet- something that makes us proud of ourselves, and gives us a feeling of accomplishment. There are not many times that I have felt such accomplishment with regards to baking. But this recipe is so far beyond all other chocolate cookies, it is a super nova among ordinary novas, a 10 on the Richter scale of richness; in short, it goes up to 11. This, my belovèds, is a heart attack on a plate. This is Death by Chocolate. 

The Best Banana Bread Ever

I adore banana bread. My stepmother used to make it for me when I forgot to eat the bananas in my lunch. Banana bread is always the perfect solution to those sad, blackened, smooshed lunch box bananas, or just the poor bananas you forgot from last week, even though they have been sitting right in front of you the whole damn time.

The Worst Waffles Ever (and some tips for better waffles)

You must have noticed by now that food bloggers only post their most successful recipes. And you might have even wondered what goes on in our kitchens when we are trying to make up new recipes. Are we flawless? Does everything we make turn out perfectly? So I thought, at my own peril, I would share with you a recent disaster. Yes folks, I am indeed going to teach you how NOT to make waffles. It’s a shame I was too mad to take a photo. It was spectacularly pathetic. 

Mama’s New Year Hangover Cure

HAPPY NEW YEAR darlings! If your ears are still ringing from ringing in the New Year, fear not, my belovèds, for there is a balm in this devil’s kitchen! 

Holiday Menu and Jewish Holidays in Germany

And so my darlings, I realize since the holidays just passed, it is a little odd to post everything I made now, but better late than never, right? This year Chanukah ended on the 24th of December (quite late) and since Christmas was the very next day, we had a nice Chanukah meal

Pumpkin Spice Cake with Magical Mystical Cream Cheese Frosting

The deliciousness of this cake is insane. It is hard for even me to describe. It is moist, fluffy, creamy, light, tangy, warm, rich, and most importantly evocative of holidays past. The spices blend together to create that nostalgic childhood festive feel, of gingerbread houses and pumpkin pies. It can be made year round of course, but I recommend using it for fall through late winter. 

Magical Mystical Cream Cheese Frosting

©Rosy Outlook Photography

Magical Mystical Frosting is the most magical mystical frosting of them all. Everyone loves frosting, but this recipe is akin to a peyote spiritual journey. You will have an epiphany while literally tripping on this frosting. The heavenly lightness combined with the rich, creamy tang makes it unsurpassable. Furthermore, its super hero shape holding power guarantees your cake will remain unmelted even on the hottest, most tropical day. Those of you in Germany will appreciate this recipe because in Germany butter and cream cheese have a higher water content, which makes frosting melty. 

Sweet Potato Latkes with Easy Apple Butter and Crème Fraîche

© H. Zell

Aren’t these flowers beautiful? They are, in fact, sweet potato flowers, and I do think they do their scrumptious roots justice, don’t you? I have been making this recipe for sweet potato latkes for years. Latkes have always been difficult for me, because almost every recipe calls for onions, and as you know, I cannot eat onions, leeks, chives, scallions, or raw garlic. I like them, they just don’t like me. 😦 

Steamed Asparagus with Lemon Butter Sauce

Did you know that while everybody gets asparagus pee, only some of us are blessed with the autosomal genes necessary to smell it? Isn’t that weird?

Broccoli and Cheddar Kugel

©Dov Harrington

This kugel was a departure from my normal sweetish kugel (I will post that recipe soon). Since my latkes are sweet potato, I wanted to have a more savory kugel. It was a big hit, and it is really easy. I guarantee even the most stoic little broccoli haters will love it. 

Real Eggnog (cooked)

Wikimedia Commons

Eggnog is not a thing in Germany. Which is sad because it is my favorite holiday drink ever. In the states, we even have Silk Soynog, which is also pretty great, considering. I am not sure why Germans don’t have eggnog, but I have some ideas. If you live here, you will have noticed that most Germans are extraordinarily svelte. 

Roasted Butternut Squash Soup

Tonight we had roasted butternut squash soup and garlic toast. It was so delicious I tried to eat two whole bowls of it, but it wasn’t gonna happen. Seriously, this stuff is ridiculously filling. The last few days it has been snowing in Frankfurt, and my very bones were screaming out for something warm and comforting. So here it is: 

Creamy Guacamole with Fresh Chèvre

This recipe is for discerning individuals who want the most out of their guacamole experience, or for those of you who want to make the best impression with the least amount of effort. 

Megan’s Totally Amazing Veggie Burritos

Wikimedia Commons

So last night we had burritos. Unfortunately, since I was being a lazy ass, I didn’t end up taking any photos. But these adorable kittens in a sombrero should make up for that. I mean, seriously. Just look at them! Anyway, my veggie burrito recipe is always a big hit with people.

Buttermilk Crêpes

Have you ever used buttermilk in a recipe, and then the next day you wonder what the fuck you’re supposed to do with all that goddamn leftover buttermilk?